cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
Randomize
