So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
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