it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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