This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
Randomize
