I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
Randomize
