Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
