They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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