You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
Randomize
