Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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