Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
I forgot how hot balto sounded
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
