Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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