She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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