Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
Randomize
