I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
