Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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