Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize