Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
Randomize
