is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
