im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
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