My boss' voice literally gives me gas
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
Randomize
