some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Randomize
