HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
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