why didn't you poke me back
is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Randomize
