It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize