I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
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