it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
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