Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
