I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize