I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
Randomize
