I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
Randomize
