youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
and she was petting her beer can
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
Randomize
