i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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