Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize
