the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
splinters make it hard to masturbate
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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