why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Randomize
