He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
Randomize
