it wasn't lemon gatorade
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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