So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize
