What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Randomize
