she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
should my penis look like a turkey
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
Randomize
