Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
