Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Randomize
