Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
