She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
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