Got a toothbrush?
She's JV to your varsity
Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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