Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Randomize
