Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
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