Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
it's like heaven, but drunker
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Randomize
