Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
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