you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
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