I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
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