I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
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