it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
