I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
