I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Randomize
