I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
