I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
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