I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
